50 Memes For Those That Need A Distraction

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shevyrolet
Dec 18, 2019 1:08 AM EST

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  • 01
    Text - sugaricingcookies: studyable: Did you know? Type O Blood was actually meant to be Type Zero blood, due to the lack of glycoproteins in the red blood cells. It was misread and is now called Type "O" blood. I guess you could call it a typo. I'm going to throw a cake at your head Source: studyable 65,101 notes
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  • 02
    Text - Greed @stluis_htx "I couldn't breathe when I slept so l installed a camera" 19: 17 UB-UF23 US: 50: 02:51 · 2019/07/22 · Twitter for iPhone
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  • 03
    Text - A lesbianshepard the funniest hp lovecraft story is the one where some guy's family offended an evil wizard who then cursed his entire family saying that all the men would die before they hit like 30. the protagonist is going crazy trying to find a spell to break the curse and then the big reveal was that the wizard was literally just breaking into their house and killing them himself.
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  • 04
    Product - 4 attentiondeficitstarscream me at any given time: can we just buckle down and focus on the task at hand please??? my brain: .ranibow sprimkle. my brain: attentiondeficitstarscream Raniboww Sprimkle ranibow sprimkle. a-walking-lovesong Kepchup. kepchup. 5 colorguardian18 SPINCH SPINCH ladyallo BANCH BANCH scoobertdoobertlove CHICHEN NUGGEST chichen nuggest yondus-wife What is your favorite vegetable? BroALE BROGLE borzboy STRAWIBEBBIES FOR SALE strawbebbies. arazzal213 this post almost
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  • 05
    Photo caption - When you invite me over for sex and there are other people in the house. You seem to be laboring under the delusion that I'm going to, what was the phrase, come quietly?
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  • 06
    Eyewear - nakedtrenchcoatbaby: twerksfortots: osamah: why does snoop dogg smile like he knows something you don't he's been snoopin' around
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  • 07
    Child - was a was surprise planned A bonus baby I'd be surprised too if I suddenly gave birth to Jack Black
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  • 08
    Text - This is my favorite picture from the Internet. Mike Fox My Anaconda don't.. Yu Gatbans Han why you keep say this? Mike Fox My Anaconda don't. Yu Gatbans Han im going to go, by Mike Fox my Anaconda don't want none unless Yu Gatbans han Yu Gatbans Han WHY YOU SAY MY NAMEI I DONT UNDERSTOOD ?121
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  • 09
    People - When your mom turns a joke into a speech
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  • 10
    Cartoon - The markings indicate How many paces we need to take. AXIX One... Okay, we're there. TTUTTTUS SIVET LUition TEXAS INSTRUMENTS (2^11)-(23*89) 1.
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  • 11
    People in nature - her: my lips are so dry him: doesn't that hurt when you walk? her: what? him: what?
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  • 12
    Product - honey, tell me what's wrong om Every "C" in Pacific Ocean is pronounced differently.
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  • 13
    Owl - salithewitch: myfriendscallmekazzy: stunningpictureDeactivated: Two happy owlets АННННННННН and they're covered in snow so they're moist owlettes
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  • 14
    Text - neutralnewt: iarclight: how to be cool A) cool sunglasses emoji B) is that a god damn pun. in emoticon format
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  • 15
    Bird - FOR SALE - Dead Budgie Not going cheep Buy it now
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  • 16
    Motor vehicle - I need this in my life
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  • 17
    Text - Innocent Illusion @DianaG2772 A rooster tried to attack my 7y/o. She didn't think I was within earshot so she said, "watch it you stupid feathery fuck," and then threw a snowball at it. 4:02 PM : 15 Nov 18
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  • 18
    Text - Morgan Chambers @Morgxn2001 Teach your kids about socialism by making them clean the bathroom Then, pay them 10 dollars Then take 7 of those dollars And give those seven dollars to their sibling who didn't work I bet your child won't be a socialist for long.
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  • 19
    Plant - 0-800-go-fuck-yourself: when something's kinda rad, but not too rad
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  • 20
    Text - How I look asking people to close my door when they leave my room
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  • 21
    Text - lieutenantriza my favorite thing i've learned in college is that way back in ancient china there was this poet/ philosopher guy who wrote this whole pretentious poem about how enlightened he was that was like "the eight winds cannot move me" blahblahblah and he was really proud of it so he sent it to his friend who lived across the lake and then his friend sends it back and just writes "FART" (or the ancient Chinese equivalent) on it and he was SO MAD he travels across the lake to chew hi
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  • 22
    Text - reallyfunnyshortjokes 6 was scared of 7 because 7,8,9 but why did 7 eat 9? Because you're supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day. simonein2015 this is advanced
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  • 23
    Team - NOR IA WORK OF ART, MADAM. THAVE NEVER BEFORE MET A VULCAN, SIR. DAMN SON. @realgeeky_memes LIVE LONG AND GET SOME.
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  • 24
    Text - ll Verizon ? 1 O 81% 7:41 PM BRIGHT SIDE · 2 MIN READ According to Science, Men Don't Mature Until They're Over 40 302 Comments 469 Shares 1K O Like Comment W Share Humans of Tumblr Tumb •.. 13 mins · 0 - "I told my dad there was a cockroach in the bathroom and he literally SHOT IT WITH A BLOWDART I'M SCREAMING." rose crystal @cherryemoticon I told my dad there was a cockroach in the bathroom and he literally SHOT IT WITH A BLOWDART I'M SCREAMING
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  • 25
    White - YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS, TED WHAT'S THE MATTER, BOY? BARK! BARK! OUR NEIGHBOR JUST PULLED INTO HIS OWN DRIVEWAY WITH HIS OWN CAR. AND THEN HAD THE GALL TO GO INTO HIS OWN HOUSE AND CLOSE THE DOOR! THAT SON OF A BITCH! nod
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  • 26
    Text - ll T-Mobile Wi-Fi ? 5:31 PM 89% Barbie > When is it over and do I have to pay money Idk and just for you and eva You and I will just go to the $2 theater tomorrow and catch endgame. I never got to see it. It's at 5:10 PM or something. You down? Sounds fun. I'Il go to bed early when I get off work and we can hang before hand and car pool. Can you call me at 3pm Incase I don't wake up? (Sleep schedules are hard for my 7day a week grave shift/ evening shift ass.) otherwise I'ma set a alarm f
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  • 27
    Cat
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  • 28
    Text - Sophuckingoode @SophieRachael95 A German man just came into the pub and tried to ask for cutlery but ended up saying "I need some food weapons" and I will now be referring to them by nothing else
    via Reddit
  • 29
    Text - Alison Agosti @AlisonAgosti Follow To all dogs laying down, Will you please just stay laying down even if I get up? I swear l'm not doing anything important and P'Il be right back and you look so cozy. I love you and I just want you to be happy. 3:10 PM - 16 Jan 2019 253 Retweets 1,586 Likes
    via Reddit
  • 30
    Vehicle door - Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's methamphetamines...
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  • 31
    Text - Trevor Williams @MeLlamoTrevor I've been building my son's trust for two yrs with high-fives. Today I'm going to hit him with a "too slow". Welcome to the real world, son.
    via Reddit
  • 32
    Cartoon - MA'AM, THAT'S A PROM DRESS. ID LIKE TO RETURN THIS I KNOW THAT! THIS IS A HARDWARE STORE YEAH? ARE YOU SASSING ME? IS. IS THAT NOT THE END OF THIS CONVERSATION? I MEAN, KINDA 1.
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  • 33
    Text - \oung Pecorino @LandonBromuto Before Amazon Prime: "Wow, they said 8-10 days and my package came in eight! How nice." After Prime: "If I don't get these cat coasters within 24 hours I am going to kill myself." 5/15/18, 20:54
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  • 34
    Product - We need to have a talk when you get home Put one in water What the hell is this It's a rhinoceros
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  • 35
    Text - Anjali Oberoi @bringitanj So l'm driving and I notice the guy behind me is cute so l'm checking him out in my rear view mirror and HE DEADASS AIRDROPS ME HIS NUMBER?? Google Maps 000 * 18:12 35% towarc Notes 50 feet r Turn right ontc To the girl staring at me from the really old car.. hope this is u AirDrop 7814 would like to share a note. Decline Accept 0.5 miles Turn left onte 250 feet
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  • 36
    Text - Danimal Krossingsmith O-5h In my day, Frozen 2 would've been released directly to VHS with a new Olaf who sounds weird, and we would've been GRATEFUL.
    via Reddit
  • 37
    Turban - Me checking the vet bill: Please don't be high Vet bill:
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  • 38
    Text - Angelo @Daddy_Lopez55 There should be a zoo of drunk white people doing stupid shit Tom Schally @TomSchally It's called Florida.
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  • 39
    Facial expression - So this is how liberty dies; with thunderous applause. Starwarsmemesandmore At least it's not dying because it's sad.
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  • 40
    Text - İDK @ SCR Saga @kevinkaywho Found a job opening that requires 8+ years of Swift experience. Swift is a programming language that came out 3 years ago. 8/18/17, 2:05 PM 26.4K Retweets 67K Likes
    via Reddit
  • 41
    Text - Joey @Trendingjoey Right now Netflix is trying to figure out @will_ent how 6 million people watched birdbox this weekend with only 22 active accounts
    via Reddit
  • 42
    Cat - When your grandma gives you money, but your mom yells from another room: "Don't give him anything!"
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  • 43
    Text - Kerbie Gibbs @kerbiegibbs so l'm at this bar that has a $10 min on cards & l only spent $9, so the bartender was like "you could get a peanut m&m shot for $1??" And I was like "sure whatever go ahead" and tbh I wasn't expecting a shot glass full of literal peanut m&ms but I am the opposite of disappointed
    via Reddit
  • 44
    Text - Doc Bastard Follow @DocBastard I'm just going to leave this here. You can vaccinate your kids, and then hold a raw potato to the wound where the needle entered, and it will suck the toxins from the vaccines out, leaving only the non toxic parts! It's a great way to stay healthy AND thwart big pharma! 2h Like Reply 12 Apr 2019 12:20 PM 1,190 Retweets 4,550 Likes jaclyn @j_n_foster Follow You know what, I will accept Potato Placebo if it means anti-vaxxers start vaccinating their kids
    via Reddit
  • 45
    Photo caption - Modern problems require modern solutions Modern problems require modern solutions / Dave Chappelle
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  • 46
    Text - Tom Morello @tmorello Getting a cappuccino today and barista says "did anyone ever tell you that you look just like Tom Morello?" | say "All the time". He says "I'Il bet". I order my coffee. He says "What's the name?" 1 say "Tom". He says "Your name is TOM too?! That's crazy!" I'm like "It sure is" 17:17 · 2019-08-20 · Twitter for iPhone 3,565 Retweets 27K Likes
    via Reddit
  • 47
    Text - kleo mcq @kleo_patraa Pretty sure I just received the best fake ID of my bartending career; a girl handed me my missing license from 2 @kalesaladquotes years ago 5/8/18, 7:25 PM
    via Reddit
  • 48
    Text - the average joe @jazz_inmypants my high school had a $10 fine for swearing on campus. one time a kid got caught saying 'shit' during gym. when the principal told him to pay up, he handed him a twenty and said keep the fuckin change. <>
    via Reddit
  • 49
    Text - Alec @alecrl Today I had 800 mg of caffeine, exercised for 2 hours, ate literally 80 pizza rolls, and did a facemask. The line between self care and self destruction is a fine one but god do I walk it hard brother
    via Reddit

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